It’s finally happening. The books, movies and TV shows are becoming a reality — the zombie apocalypse is upon us.

Normally, this column focuses on health and fitness-related topics, but all of that seems trivial at a time like this.  Plus, if you’ve survived this far, you’re probably in pretty good shape already. Running from vicious (although slow) packs of zombies and fighting off the ones who get too close is a great workout.  

You’re likely starving. I’m sorry. The zombies are hungry too, but you don’t hear them complaining. They can’t really talk, but that’s beside the point.

The point is, I’ve seen enough zombie movies to give you some guidance. I’m no expert, but if you want to stay alive, take these tips into consideration.

It’s probable that one of your family members or a significant other will become a zombie soon (if they haven’t already). When this happens, you’ll probably see them in a bloodstained shirt, coming after you in slow motion. A song that carries emotional significance for the two of you will play symbolically in the background, as you are confronted with a tough decision.

Your options are: put your loved out of their misery, let them go on living their zombie life or attempt some deranged reunion, which will turn you into a zombie (don’t hug them). This is a sensitive situation, so I’m not going to tell you what to do, just make you aware of it because it’s definitely coming.

My second tip is to stay in well-lit areas. Too often in zombie movies, survivors will venture to an abandoned mansion for shelter. Of course, zombies are hiding in the shadows and while everyone is relaxing in their new environment, they get bit.

My final tip is to STOP READING THIS. Seriously, what are you doing? There’s a zombie apocalypse going on, the world is in ruins, and you’re reading my column? Not a good use of your time.

Although I’m flattered, maybe you should concentrate your efforts on running away from these infected creatures. Better start moving. I see one creeping up behind you right now.