Getting engaged and making a commitment to getting married is one of the biggest decisions a couple will make in their lives, both emotionally and financially. Deciding to spend the rest of your life with someone can be a daunting though, not to mention the monetary strains a marriage entails.

Tradition has always surrounded couples’ engagements and marriages, and most adhere to them — friends and family in attendance, white dress, reception, a dance afterward and an expensive engagement ring.

The engagement ring, featuring diamonds or other gemstones and typically costing anywhere from hundreds to thousands of dollars, is an important, albeit expensive, sign of commitment usually bought by the male in a relationship.

But these days, more and more couples are skipping certain customs of marriage they feel don’t fit with their situations or lives. In a country where most students work only part-time jobs and graduate with thousands of dollars of debt, the cost of an engagement ring can be a seemingly impossible expense to think about. To help manage the cost, some couples are sharing the cost of the engagement ring.

The question of whether women would be open to the idea of taking on some of the cost of something traditionally being the responsibility of the man remains to be answered. Wichita State senior Alexa Chau has been engaged since October of last year and said she doesn’t think it would be an issue.

“I don’t think the guy should have to buy it himself, depending on circumstance,” she said. “But it takes the surprise out of it. We basically already split costs of everything now, so it wouldn’t be that big of a deal to me.”

The element of surprise is a significant part of proposals and is often a moment that couples will remember for the rest of their lives. But for WSU senior Paul Brink, who has been married since 2011 and also shares expenses with his wife, the surprise factor isn’t as big of a deal.

“We’d talked about it. She was actually with me to pick out the ring,” he said. “I mean, some people want the entire engagement to be a surprise, and as long as that works for them, that’s cool.  But we figured if we are going to make the decision to be together, we might as well do that together as well.”

For some men, such as WSU junior Dillon Kerans, the purchase of an engagement ring signifies making a long-term commitment to a woman. Kerans, who proposed to his fiancé in August, said that the decision is different for everyone, but he made the decision to pay for the ring himself.

“This is what I’m going to do to show you that I will be there,” he said.

Ultimately, every couple makes the decision that best reflects their values and suits their financial situation, but as time goes on, more couples may choose to “go Dutch” on the engagement ring.