W

hen most couples begin dating, the rules are clear. The two meet for dinner and a movie, where the guy opens the door, pays the bill, and makes sure the girl has a good time. But what’s the protocol if you’re gay? It turns out that things aren’t as complicated as they seem.

The most complicated part can be telling whether or not a person is also gay. Maybe that’s why the dating scene has such a strong Internet presence—online, someone can clearly identify their orientation.

“It’s already a little more difficult (than straight dating),” Wichita State senior Kyle Aldrich said. “Not all of us exactly wear it on our sleeves. Besides online dating sites such as match.com and plentyoffish.com, there’s a healthy supply of gay bars and clubs around. For college students, the most popular are Rain Café and Lounge, and Fantasy Complex. 

WSU sophomore Bruno Zaldivar said another issue with gay dating is being stood up by a date. He said it may be because men are generally more “fickle” than women.  

One would think that in Wichita, a conservative city in a red state, most people would be less comfortable with gay dating. But it’s not as traditional as you might think.

“I think Wichita’s pretty open for being a red state,” Zaldivar said. However, public displays of affection (PDAs) can still be a tender subject.

PDAs are sometimes acceptable with straight couples, but gay couples sometimes feel uncomfortable showing affection in public. Aldrich told a story of when he kissed his boyfriend at a stoplight, and received glares from a neighboring truck.

For those still wondering about their sexuality, the best policy is being open and accepting yourself. 

“I think it’s just a matter of being completely honest with yourself about who you’re interested in,” Aldrich said. 

And once people realize they’re gay, Zaldivar said they sometimes change their appearance or demeanor to fit the popular conception of how gay people act.

“Instead of trying to fit in as regular people, they do the opposite,” Zaldivar said. “Just be cool with however you are. Don’t change for the sake of rebellion.”