Dorm life, in theory, is scary. When I tell you I panicked for months over the thought of living with a stranger, I wish I was joking. In practice, dorm life can still be scary. 

There’s nothing better than being woken up at 3 a.m. by someone on your right knocking on the wall. 

If you couldn’t tell, I was being sarcastic. 

But seriously, this is a problem. I came to college with one of the few comforts being that we were all adults. I figured we’d learned from the mistakes of being obnoxious high schoolers, yet I found college students are somehow (sometimes) worse. 

So, to make it simple for all of those still confused, here’s a nice list compiled by yours truly. 

DO: Clean up after yourself. 

Your main concern: your room and whatever area you share with your roommate(s). It’s not that hard to do. Pick up your trash, do dishes or sweep and mop. No one deserves to smell your leftover dinner from two weeks ago, so just do the responsible thing and take it out. 

A little secret: if you’re having an off day and don’t immediately clean up, most roommates will understand if you’ve been decent to them all year. Everyone has off days. We’re all students here, but your roommates are not your maids.  

This cleanliness rule does not only apply to your dorm but the areas within whatever dormitory you’re staying in: the elevators, the Laundry-Kitchen-Lounges (LKL), and the laundry rooms.

People should not worry about slipping on your abandoned dryer sheets just because you were too lazy to bend down and take them to the trash can. And there should most definitely not be crumbs on the counter in the LKL. It’s a shared space and needs to be treated as such. I also shouldn’t have to worry about placing my hands in chewed-up gum on the railings of the elevator — which has happened twice in one month if anyone was wondering. 

DON’T: Decide you’re going to be the next Gordon Ramsay. 

I am all for experimenting and finding new hobbies, but maybe you shouldn’t attempt to cook for the first time in a kitchen with a very sensitive fire alarm where hundreds of people live. 

For one, we all share air. So the moment you burn your batch of grandma’s homemade chocolate chip cookies, it wafts everywhere. I’ll be resting peacefully in my living room and then it’ll smell like someone from “Nailed It!” just infiltrated the building. It’s not a nice smell.

Furthermore, guess what can happen when food is burned? Smoke happens, which in turn causes the fire alarm to go off. And if I have to be woken up from my nap one more time because someone burned their food, I’m going to lose it. Listen, I know times are tough and sometimes the Dining Hall just isn’t doing it, but just stick to ramen for the sake of my ears and sleep schedule. 

DO: Respect your RA. 

Sophomore Hailee Powell, a resident assistant (RA) at The Suites, said it’s nice to see residents of the dorms being mindful and respecting their RAs. 

“We’re also students, as well,” Powell said. “We’re just like you guys, and it’s kind of nice if we get a wave, if we get a smile, you know, a little bit of an acknowledgment.” 

Powell said RAs are there to be a mentor to residents and that she wants people to work with her instead of against her.

“It’s nothing crazy. I’m not the police,” Powell said. “I’m not your boss; I’m just here to help. I feel like a lot of people just forget that they just see it as a hall monitor type thing.” 

Be mindful of your RAs. They do a lot for residents of the dorms. And even though you can feel frustrated with different aspects of life, don’t take it out on them. 

Also, just wave at them. I promise they don’t bite. 

DON’T: Be super loud. 

I’m going to preface this by saying this doesn’t mean no noise can ever be heard from your dorm. That would be concerning. 

What I am saying is dorm residents should be mindful of not only the people in their room but also the other people on the floors around them. You don’t need to be blaring Kendrick Lamar at 2 a.m. That also means no running down the halls, shouting nonsense. If you’re being chased, I’ll allow an exception, but not if you’re just upset that the Kansas City Chiefs lost. Completely unnecessary, we’re not 3 years old anymore.

Being mindful of your loudness doesn’t just apply to quiet hours, either. People study, take naps or just like to relax in the afternoon. College is stressful, and people don’t need to be stressed out more by loud stomping coming from above them. 

A small piece of advice: if you’re ever in doubt about whether you’re being too loud, you probably should be quieter.

And that concludes the dos and don’ts of college dorm life. There are definitely more items that could be added, but this sums up the basics of sharing a living space in college. 

Just use your head and act like an adult. If you’re old enough to live on your own, you’re old enough to know how to act. 

And if I, as an only child who never had to share, can figure it out, so can you all.