Mr. Advice Man’s helpful hints for finals week preparation

Columnist

Dear Mr. Advice Man,

When I study, I need absolute quiet.  My roommate, on the other hand, insists on blasting loud heavy metal and punk music, and says he can’t study without it.  I don’t think it’s fair that I should have to go to the library to study.  How can we settle this?

– Rocking Out in College Hill

 

Dear Rocking Out,

The old adage, “if you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em,” applies here.  Declare that you, too, have come to appreciate the benefit of studying with music.  Then, steal some Justin Beiber and Nicki Minaj music from your little sister and crank it up.  No rational human being can withstand more than three minutes of teen pop (which is why it is so popular amongst teens).  Your roommate will quickly declare that silence is golden when it comes to studying.

 


Dear Mr. Advice Man,

One of my fellow classmates barely attended class all semester.  As we approach exams, she has asked to be my “study buddy”, and suggested we share our notes.  My notes consist of detailed annotations of each class session, highlighted and cross-referenced according to topic.  Her notes consist of the words “Napoleon was French” written on the back of a Dillon’s receipt for pudding cups.  Should I allow her to take advantage of my hard work and preparation or force her to face the exam on her own?

– Muttering at Metternich in McKinley

 

Dear Muttering,

Since you’ve already demonstrated you suffer from obsessive-compulsive disorder given the meticulous detail of your notes, you should have no problem creating a fake set of notes to “share” with your friend.  Feel free to include fun facts such as, “The key factor in German unification was how much everybody seemed to agree on liking beer and hating France,” and, “The principal goals of the industrial revolution were to make Skynet self-aware and to terminate Sarah Connor.”

 


Dear Mr. Advice Man,

Do you have any handy mnemonic devices for studying, like SOH-CAH-TOA for trigonometry?

– Acronym Crazy at Ablah

 

Dear Acronym,

I’m glad you asked.  Here are some fun ones:

The Noble Gases – He Ne Ar Cr Xe Rn – He Near Crazy Nurse.

The taxonomic classification of human beings – Animalia, Chordata, Mammalia, Primatae, Hominidae, Homo, Sapiens – All Cool Men Prefer Having Heavy Sideburns

Phases of mitosis – Interphase, Prophase, Metaphase, Anaphase, Telophase – I Propose Men Are Toads

The main causes of World War I – Militarism, Alliances, Imperialism, Nationalism – MAIN

The layers of the OSI model – Application, Presentation, Session, Transport, Network, Data Link, Physical –  At present, some teachers need Dr. Phil.

Hope these help!  Good luck on your exams.