Campus artwork a mystery for this international student

Columnist

The mornings are tolerable, the afternoons scorching and the sun stays up way past its bedtime.  You can tell that most people have gone through extra lengths to look their prettiest. The smell of flavored coffee and perfume greets you in the corridor, and the fragrance of their perfumes lingers for brief moments even after the cute girls who paralyzed you have passed by. I have come to call it the “new semester smell.”

Yes, it definitely is the start of a new semester. You have been on time for the few classes you have taken so far, and you still haven’t started settling for anything less than an A in every class, maybe a B+. But that transition is a story for another day.

Fairly new to the campus, you decide it is time to turn into an explorer and discover corners of the campus that have never been discovered before … by you, at least. Every single person who is new to Wichita and Wichita State notices two things: Edwin Abbott Abbott’s “Flatland” was probably inspired by Wichita and the main campus of WSU is a labyrinth of red-bricked buildings infested with hideous art installations.

The politically correct terms used to describe them are abstract and modern art. In my view, the modern art movement is society’s largest pretension. With millions of participants, the sorry excuses that are passed off as works of art are an embarrassment to every true artist. But in this game of rich, opinionated people with no traces of artistic talent, geniuses like Alyssa Monks are barely given any credit.

The world’s a playground, and modern art enthusiasts are bullies who will ensure you are reduced to a pulp if you fail to agree with them. So they’ll tell you how you have bad taste, and that the amoebic blob in front of the Ablah Library is totally not an idol of Lord Mc. Gro-Tesque, the supreme god of the amoeba inhabiting the surrounding regions.

Out of nowhere a lone bird attends to nature’s call, and with the grim accuracy of an F-22 launching a heat-seeking missile into a volcano, the gooey, gross projectile lands perfectly on the art installation.

My day has been made.