My journey to find my identity and place in college has been a wild adventure.

I started out at Butler County Community CollegeCounty Community College back when I was 19. I then transferred to Wichita State University, attended for a week and a half and then dropped out. Now, I’m back six years later, and I’m a senior.  

I started out in social work. I changed my major nine times, but last year, decided that social work wasn’t for me, and so I switched to a double major in applied linguistics and American Sign Language.

Identity was similar for me. It’s one of those things where I sort of identified as a boy when I was  3 or 4 years old, but I didn’t have the language to describe myself until I was on social media, like Tumblr, in high school. When I realized I was transgender, it was like, ‘Oh, that’s what I am.’ I didn’t have to put any thought into it — I just knew. I first realized I was trans when I was around 15. I didn’t start transitioning — or coming out —- until I was 24 or so.

I anticipated a lot of rejection around coming out as a trans man, so I cut contact with my family and pretty much all my friends, and everyone I knew — just a fresh start sort of thing. 

Still, it wasn’t very linear. I knew that I wanted to transition, but I went back and forth on it a lot, but the decision is truly life-changing. I came out at 24, and 5 years later I’m out to everyone I know.

I’ve reached the point now where gender is not a large aspect of my life. When you’re at the beginning of transitioning, it’s all consuming, like everyone’s misgendering you or treating you weird. But now, I don’t get misgendered very often. 

But recently, it’s been stressful. At first with the new presidential administration, I didn’t think things would get that bad. But there’s been an increase in hate crimes and hate speech, so it has steadily become terrifying. I want to express my fears, but I also don’t want to show that emotion and vulnerability.

Because I pass, people just see me as a guy. A lot of times people feel comfortable saying things in front of me, like, ‘Oh, you’re clearly a cis, straight, white man.’ And so they’ll just say all these conservative ideas, and that can put me in awkward situations — especially because I don’t have a car. I Uber everywhere, and there are some weird old men out there who just want to yell about trans people. I’m just sitting there, thinking ‘Please don’t flag me as trans.’

Recently, I started a Facebook group advocating for trans people in Wichita, called Trans Liberation ICT. I’ve created a network of people who are supportive. It’s nice to just at least know that there are people who care.

Being trans is a random part of who I am. For me, it’s not this huge fundamental aspect; it’s just like being an introvert or some other trait.