We live in a gendered society. Everything has its own gendered box, from birth to death. Even the most pointless items, like toothbrushes and deodorant, are separated by gender.

Isolation during the COVID-19 pandemic helped me put a name to the issue that had plagued me for a couple of years. It helped me realize that I didn’t fit into the boxes of ‘“boy” and “girl” that society wants people to fit neatly into. 

After some frantic Google searches, akin to the classic “Am I gay” quiz on BuzzFeed, I found myself wrapped in the embrace of gender-nonconforming and non-binary people. 

Once I found these terms that described me, it felt like a large weight was lifted from my shoulders. I felt complete enough to come out to my girlfriend. 

She was the first person I was comfortable enough to come out to, and she has been my support system ever since. 

I use they/them pronouns and, despite being open about my identity, some people around me still refer to me as she/her as I am still slightly female presenting in the traditional sense. 

It’s a bombardment of “‘miss,” “ma’am,” and “young lady,” which hurts a lot more from people I know than strangers, but there is still a sting that is hard to ignore. 

When I first came out, I attempted to dress and act as androgynous or masculine as possible. I’ve become comfortable enough in my identity that I can start to reincorporate feminine aspects back into my wardrobe, though it’s been a slow process. 

Inclusion

A non-inclusive environment can be harmful to gender-nonconforming students, both physically and mentally. They can face bullying and harassment, experience depressive episodes or even suffer from gender dysphoria, significant distress related to their desire to conform to another gender.

All that I — and others who are going through gender realization — ask is that you please educate yourself and stand up for those who have no voice of their own, especially in light of recent legislation and anti-LGBTQ+ decisions.

Legislation 

The University of Cincinnati has started displaying new signs in various on-campus buildings in response to the new Senate Bill 104 law restricting the bathrooms transgender people can use; the signs have been altered to say “biological woman” and “biological man.”

Actress and model Hunter Schafer, among other trans individuals, has been misgendered on passports or denied when trying to change gender markers in response to executive orders signed by the Trump administration. Several trans and non-binary people have started to sue the administration for this new policy.  

After Inauguration Day, The Trevor Project saw an increase in the volume of calls to its crisis line, following a record-breaking 700% increase observed on Nov. 6, 2024. 

Uncertainty

My passport is currently in limbo while the government tries to correct a mistake it made. My gender marker reads male even though I submitted the paperwork as female. 

I submitted my passport with my birth certificate, trying to change my gender marker to female, and I received a letter from the passport application department saying they couldn’t issue a passport with the sex marker requested and that my documents submitted didn’t establish a biological sex at birth. 

I can only guess that because my birth certificate was amended due to a wrong birthday, it was assumed that it was my gender marker that was changed and my application was paused until I am able to get proof of what was amended. 

With recent legislation, I have been living with uncertainty about what the future could bring. Especially with the issues surrounding my passport, I hear the stories of others who are in similar situations, who have had their documents returned destroyed and I fear that my documents may be either lost or returned to me in a similar state. 

I also live in fear of hate crimes, especially as events like pride parades come up. I can’t help but worry if some people will decide to target and attack these parades and harm the community. 

I will continue to live openly as my authentic self, but there is an underlying layer of fear of what harm my existence may bring.  

If you want to help, educate yourself and others. Petition local politicians and be an ally to those who are around you. We’ve been here for centuries, and we’re here to stay.