Corrigan: The island of lost snacks


The other day, I was perusing the aisles of Dillon’s for snacks, (because really, what is the Final Four without the proper snacks?), when I stumbled across an old friend: Cheetos Puffcorn in the butter flavor.

I was immediately transported to the fifth-grade sleepover where I basically huffed handfuls of Puffcorn while wearing my Dr Pepper chapstick. Somehow, the combo of just worked. This rediscovery of butter-flavored-crack led me down the rabbit hole. I wondered about the fates of my other favorite childhood snacks, so I did some investigating.

I don’t know about the rest of you, but my ideal morning when I was 8 was waking up way too early and watching cartoons (Rugrats…duh) while eating a bowl of Oreo cereal. This cereal tasted exactly like crushed up Oreo cookies in milk. Plus, you got a free bowl of Oreo-flavored chocolate milk after each round (because there were several) of cereal.

But then, after years of my morning ritual, Post discontinued their Oreo O’s. I was crestfallen. Cinnamon Toast Crunch couldn’t hold a candle to its predecessor.

Years later, on a very late night when I was feeling fifty shades of nostalgic, and I was spending money stupidly like it was my job, I bought a box of Oreo O’s off of eBay. I waited for a month for my Oreo O’s to be sent over from China, only to discover that they didn’t taste the same. Luckily, Post recently brought Oreo O’s back to life. You can buy them at Dillon’s, and I’m happy to report they taste just like the original.

Post’s Oreo O’s cereal. (Courtesy).

I wandered into the fruit snack aisle, where I was happy to find that my old standby, Fruit by the Foot, was still alive and well. Fruit by the Foot is so genius. It’s a fruit snack that can double as a jump-rope. I just hope kids are eating them the right way these days.

I specifically remember my childhood friend, Richard, stuffing the whole three feet of fruit rope into his mouth. I’m not sure if this checks out, as I’m not a psychologist, but I think that’s a clear sign of psychopathy.

I needed something to drink with my snack haul, so I headed over to the juice aisle. My eyes darted over the Capri-Sun juice pouches and the Hi-C juice-boxes. They wouldn’t cut it. No. There was one clear winner. The original gangster, the Kool-Aid Burst. The Kool-Aid Bursts are those wax bottles with the bizarre twist and pull away tops that were impossible to open when you were 6.

It was like a mental marathon trying to open the bottle without the whole thing squirting all over you. You had to try to find an adult to open it for you, and even then, you got like two sips of juice. I’m just saying, whoever designed the Kool-Aid Burst bottle is going to do some time in Hell.

These snacks were the accompaniment to my childhood. Though Wonderballs, and purple Ketchup have sadly died and gone to snack heaven, it was nice to discover that kids have the chance to experience the same joys of three feet of fruit leather and cookie cereal that I had. While my tastes have changed, my fond memories of snacking through childhood remain.