Bottled water ranked from nice to absolutely disgusting
Bottled waters aren’t created equal. We took it upon ourselves to rank them definitively.
Bottled water is not usually the sort of product that triggers “what the f***” reactions, and yet here we are. Your public servants at The Sunflower have painstakingly tasted 16 different bottled waters to find the very best and worst. The best is pretty tasty — refreshing with just a hint of pleasant flavor. The worst, however — well, we’re surprised anyone would finish the bottle. Now, from best to most horrible: bottled water.
- Dasani
Price Per Liter: $1.00
Presentation: Good
Taste Rating: 10
Dasani may be barely filtered, glorified tap water, but it’s proof that a little goes a long way. Dasani has one of the fullest tastes of the waters we tried, with a nice, slight fruity tinge rounding it out. It’s also one of the cheapest we tasted, and its bottle is clean, appealing and modern. Overall, it’s a stellar bottled water. Happy drinking!
- Kroger Purified Drinking Water
Price Per Liter: $1.00
Presentation: What do you expect
Taste Rating: 8.5
Yes, Kroger is a beast in the water game. The water is very neutral and clean with the barest hint of a plastic bottle taste, and it barely costs anything. I don’t exactly know how a company can mass produce better water than more expensive, supposedly fancier brands, but they’re doing it. Krogerheads unite.
- Evian
Price Per Liter: $1.50
Presentation: Baby bottle
Taste Rating: 9
Evian is defined on Urban Dictionary as “The water that rich folk drink.” Well, at least they have a good reason to drink it — it’s clean with a tiny bit of minty delight. This is really refreshing water, and it’s not even close to as expensive as far inferior options down this list. However, the bottle itself is kind of reminiscent of a baby bottle with its oblong rounded design and pink stripe. Substance over style here still results in a good drinking choice.
- LIFE WTR
Price Per Liter: $1.50
Presentation: Literally art
Taste Rating: 8
LIFE WTR bottles are basically pieces of art, and the water on the inside is almost as good. Out of all the waters we tasted, this is the closest to an absolute neutral. There are a variety of awesome bottle designs, and each bottle feels solid and stands up nicely to avoid accidental spills. It’s just a really nice bottle with some really nice water inside. Definitely worth the bump in price.
- Essentia
Price Per Liter: $2.56
Presentation: Good
Taste Rating: 9
Essentia water makes a statement with a decidedly vodka-esque edge to its flavor. If you like vodka, this is almost guaranteed to be your favorite water on this list, and if you don’t, you’re better off going for anything else in the top 10. The unique, clean flavor is almost enough to rationalize its ridiculous price point, and its scientific bottle is a pretty nice bonus as well. Definitely worth at least one buy, and essential for Russian drinkers.
- Fiji
Price Per Liter: $3.41
Presentation: Overrated, but cool
Taste Rating: 8
Out of all the waters on our list, Fiji’s brand carries the most weight. And yes, it tastes great — clean with a slight mineral edge. However, for the price of just one bottle, you could grab a bulk package of Kroger. And honestly, the legendary packaging has been dropping in quality over time; most Fiji bottles I’ve come into contact with seem to be scratched up and they no longer have the satisfying square base. It’s still a great water, and yes, you can goof around and flex with it if you want to.
- Ozarka
Price Per Liter: $1.00
Presentation: Budget patriotism
Taste Rating: 6
Ozarka looks like a designer half-assed a Fourth of July version of their logo, and then they forgot to switch it back after the Fourth of July was over. Thankfully, the actual water is decent — neutral with a slight plasticky, chemical taste that doesn’t really taste that bad or that good. At the price, it’s certainly no crime against humanity, but there are certainly better options out there.
- Kroger Purified Plus Electrolytes
Price Per Liter: $1.26
Presentation: Futuristic clip-art
Taste Rating: 6
Kroger Purified Plus Electrolytes marks the spot in this list where things start to go a little downstream. The water has a tinge of ugliness to it, and the cheap bottle art doesn’t help wash that down. However, it is pretty inexpensive, and rumor has it that electrolytes are pretty good for you. It’s far from the worst choice on this list.
- Waiakea
Price Per Liter: $2.59
Presentation: Cheesy, but nice, resort
Taste Rating: 7
Waiakea has a turquoise bottle with a slightly volcanic flair, but the design seems hesitant — neither bold enough to make a strong impression nor subtle enough to radiate classiness. The water inside hits that middle ground too, but in a good way — it’s about as neutral as it gets. At the price point, it’s not enough to make it a good pick.
- Bai
Price Per Liter: $1.67
Presentation: Nice
Taste Rating: 5
Bai’s bottle design is easily the best thing about it, and it looks better than most bottles at its price range. However, the taste has a very noticeable plastic edge to it that just pushes it into the territory of unoffensive blah-ness. Buying this water isn’t a bad decision, it’s just a decision. Are you going to settle for that?
- Smartwater
Price Per Liter: $3.37
Presentation: Smart
Taste Rating: 5
Smartwater looks like it would be pretty good, and it is good if you have no other option. Almost anything else is going to taste better and cost less. Defy brand popularity and ignore this option for the good of both your taste buds and your wallet.
- Core
Price Per Liter: $2.53
Presentation: Organic-core
Taste Rating: 4
Maybe Core thinks its gimmick — having the same 7.4 pH as the human body — will hide its synthetic-tasting water. As soon as you taste this water, you’ll know why you haven’t seen it around. Guess what, Core — all water hydrates people. The only thing special about your water is that it hydrates people who are richer and less informed about their water.
- Icelandic
Price Per Liter: $2.58
Presentation: Very cool / cold
Taste Rating: 3
Either you think that Icelandic water looks awesome or that it looks like a crumbled mess. Either way, you won’t like the taste. Icelandic water carries an offensive flatness that somehow manages to bring the water down a lot with just a little flavor. How are you that bad at making water, Iceland? Stick to spacey music and keep your water to yourself.
- Simple Truth
Price Per Liter: $1.41
Presentation: Organic-core
Taste Rating: 2
The simple truth about this water is that it’s bad.
- Voss
Price Per Liter: $3.52
Presentation: Very cool
Taste Rating: 1
Do you remember when Voss had these thicc, badass glass bottles? They can’t afford to make them anymore because no one buys Voss water more than once. It tastes like burning chemicals. If this is what Norwegians drink, it’s a miracle that any of them are still alive. If you’re curious to how water can actually taste bad, do yourself a favor and just drink out of a local river instead of wasting three dollars on this bottled abomination.
- Just Water
Price Per Liter: $2.58
Presentation: Paper chic
Taste Rating: -3
Maybe when they first filled this water, uh, container, there really was Just Water in there. By the time you unscrew this paper water bottle’s top off, something else has definitely joined the party. Is it paper? Rotten tree bark? Straight up pee? There’s a label on this water bottle where you can write your name because, as the water bottle says, “Not everything needs to be shared.” That’s certainly true of this water.
John Darr is a reporter for The Sunflower.
Darr is an MFA Candidate in Poetry Writing. His main interests are local art, student life, experimental...
Matthew Kelly is a former editor in chief and managing editor for The Sunflower. Kelly graduated in 2020 with a bachelor’s degree in political science...
You have the absolute worst taste
Dasani #1? Ridiculous it tastes like plastic. Everyone I know hate this water.
Worst list ever, dasani at #1 are you high?
Dasani???? Worst water on the planet. Put a nickel in tap water and you have just recreated Dasani water.
Don’t know what these other guys are talking about I agree Dasani is number one.
You guys don’t know what good taste is. Dasani is fucking amazing. Everything else tries so hard to be cool with their shitty “mineral enhancement” but it makes it taste like shit. It’s time to reevaluate your priorities, and realize the truth that Dasani is love, life, and everything in between.
don’t call me stupid, but Dasani is actually good. you guys are being the stupid ones. like Dasani water. and, I like the guy on top of me. your cool.
Before you blow a fuse, notice that the webpage is under the category “OPINION”.
Wow. OPINION…. what the F— does that mean? Can’t people respect others’ opinion without being toxic?
If I replied to you, saying “You hate Dasani water? Are you f*cking retarded?”” How does that make you right?
Please respect peoples’ opinions. Don’t think that calling someone dumb makes them wrong.
Really sucks to write articles sometimes…
A lot of people are misinformed when they believe that Dasani simply causes cancer or whatnot. Bromine causes cancer in large amounts, Coca-cola’s distillery had a malfunction that accidentally let excess bromine into the water supply. Please understand that Coca-Cola isn’t out to kill the population of water-drinkers. You are their source of profit. Any dent in their reputation is not good for their company. It was an accident.
Excuse you, but where’s the Aquafina? Poor Pepsi, always the bridesmaid, never the bride.
I’m with you on the Kroger water, though. $3 for a giant-ass case of it, and it tastes a-okay too? Hell yeah.
Icelandic is the best water…. It tastes amazing. Dasani has sodium in it, uhh, it’s trash. Dasani tastes like crap.
If you think Dasani tastes good you grew up in a city and have never been out in nature amongst natural water sources and your standard is garbage city tap water.
Icelandic #1, hands down .
I agree- I like Dasani water and Fiji and Essencia are up there on my list. Totally agree with disgusting Voss water. I’ve only ever had it in clubs while drunk, til I bought it recently and it’s disgusting. I think it’s the chloride they add.
I knew I couldn’t trust you when you listed friggin’ DASANI as # 1!!! Wtf?! Lmaohahaha.
And a “vodka-esque” taste to Essentia WATER?! “If you like vodka, you’ll like this WATER?” I’m calling the police. I can’t believe such an article ever got published.
is this just a bait? You know this guy has 0 taste when he rates Dasani a 10. LOL
This is almost troll worthy… It no longer is “opinion” when it’s this far off-base.. EVERYBODY KNOWS Dasani (along with Aquafina) is without question the worst water on the market. Voss is delicious, especially when being on the verge of freezing. This guy loves Dasani cuz it tastes like the toilet water he & his douchebag frat-boy friends nursed on in school…
What a Jackass
What type of drunk or high are you? Dasani is dog water.
I’m so glad to see I wasn’t the only one to pop an eyebrow at Dasani being number 1. It tastes and feels like dog slobber. Not even when I’m dehydrated do I touch it.
dasani?
the water banned in the uk because of carcinegenic properties…
the water that taste like bleach and sulfur?
toilet water for certain!
is this opinion paid for by cocacola?
thats the only way iy makes sense!
I like Dasani. To each it’s own. Some people like fiji water. I don’t. That is okay.
Dasani taste much better than a lot of these bottled waters.
That is my opinion.
If you like dasani’s empty ass tasting water then you are a CLOWN.
Dasani is the equivalent of drinking bottled up toilet water that was left in a hot car to marinade for a day and a half
I live in southern arkansas and I wil gladly drink any bottled water listed if it would prevent me from ever drinking well water again! Hell I tried showering in it once and it smelled so bad I just wanted to get out and go kick somebody’s ass….lol (but not really lol) lol
Naturally, being a mermaid, I know what real, true, pure water is like. Dasani is number one. There is nothing that can compare. It contains microplastic particles, similarly to home. The taste is unfathomable. Like bottled lotion mixed with a bit of pee, the way the syrup-like h20 slithers down my throat brings me happiness and joy each time. It makes me crave it more each and every time. Sometimes I crave it so much, my mouth goes dry. If you don’t like the bottled greatness that is Dasani, you’re simply missing out on life.
Dasani…? No.
As a mermaid, I know what pure, real water tastes like. Dasani is the purest of them all. Nothing compares. It contains microplastic particles that remind me of home. The taste of bottled lotion and pee bring me joy and happiness each and every time, and the way the it slithers down my throat like syrup is so comforting. I crave it so much sometimes that my mouth goes dry. If you don’t appreciate the greatness that is Dasani, you simply need to get out of your house and discover more about life.
I tried Dasanti and it tasted so much like the plastic bottle I couldn’t drink it and pored it down the kitchen sink.
I used to only drink Evian…and then one day, forgot about a bottle in the freezer. When it thawed out, the minerals were visable sitting in the bottom of the bottle. If you want really good water, Ozarka is the way to go.
Hello, I ran across your article. Didn’t read the whole thing but was searching the acidity of Ozarka brand water. Noticed your comment about the label and just so you know they are a Texas company and the logo is not fourth of July themed but themed after the flag for the State of Texas. The flag for the state of Texas has red, white and blue in it. So you know why.
You have the ranking completely backwards!! Dasani has always been the absolute worst water ever! Just Water is so good! Last year during the pandemic when you couldn’t get bottled water, I went to the store and the only thing available was Dasani, tons of cases of it. Nobody wants that garbage!
Ozarka water “looking like a 4th of July” themed water bottle was one of the stupidest things you said on this review, ozarka is not a patriotic water it doesn’t reference America at all, rather it references Texas since the water is a Texan based company getting their water from piney woods springs.
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this is hilarious. how much did pepsi/coca cola pay you to rank dasani corruption deathwater #1 haha
This article is very clearly satirical. Top tier trolling at its finest.
You rated it worst to best. Dasani has chemicals in it that cause dehydration.
Dasani is alright, but Fiji water should be no. 1
This must be a troll post. If you ranked Dasani as #1 when it’s literally Bottled municipal water, your opinion is absolete. Icelandic is the best water that I’ve ever tasted and fuji being one of the worst. It makes me think that no one on your staff actually drinks water and just pays attention to branding or what they see most often. You should be embarrassed of this ranking. there’s no way this was serious.
I found this site after googling “why does Smart Water taste so bitter?”. Smart Water is so bad. Fiji water is ok. Core almost has a gelatinous, thickness to it, which isn’t good, while it tastes ok. I’ve literally tasted every brand listed in this article and I’m 100% pro Evian as the best tasting water all around. There’s a reason it’s always sold out at my local store compared to the other water brands.
I also disagree with this ranking but just wanted to comment on how much I really enjoyed everyone else’s comment especially the mermaid’s!
As someone who drinks water like its wine I will have to say this list is a joke. Dasani is essentially tap water. Its been written about and proven. First you don’t just water just on taste but Ph levels as well. Dasani has a ph level of 4.5. That is right around tomatoes and coffee and slightly about soda and beer. Aquafina and Smart Water are around the same because they are distilled or vaporized. This is what you do when you want to remove all trace elements out of polluted water. You also did not mention some of the other better waters like Mountain Valley Spring (which thankfully uses glass) and Chuck Norris’s brand C Force. I prefer Mountain Valley Spring, Vai Wai, Icelandic and C Force. If I feel expensive its Fiji or Evian.
Mountain Valley pure spring water bottled from one of the largest and purest springs in the world near Hot Springs, Arkansas. One might pay a little more for this product, but as the old saying goes, “you get what you pay for”.