OPINION: ‘Sonic the Hedgehog’ should have stayed bad



Left, the original animation of Sonic the Hedgehog. Right, Sonic after a $5 million redesign.

I liked the bad Sonic design so much more than the $5 million-dollar redesign that fans clamored for after the introduction of the beady-eyed speed rodent we won’t be seeing.

This is coming from a 23-year-old who loved Sonic when he was growing up. I would play the games, read the comics and watch the cartoons. So, as an old fan seeing the first design, I thought that their blue cat played by Ben Schwartz would be an interesting take.

It’s not that I think the new faithful design to the feature film Sonic the Hedgehog is bad or will make the movie any better or worse — I just expect to not remember it.

The monstrosity that we could have gotten would be memorable, like the “Super Mario Bros” movie that made the Goombas — those little mushroom guys — into weird lizard men in suits. Or like “Batman and Robin” with its rubber Batsuit with nipples.

Bad movies can be good. Not because they’re enjoyable to watch — well, they can be, and I’m getting to that — but because you can put it on and make fun of how bad it is.

Bad movies are such an entertaining industry in their own right that a TV show has been making fun of bad movies since the 80s, spawning all sorts off imitators.

Recently, I was at a party where we decided to watch the 1999 “Inspector Gadget.” I probably haven’t seen that movie in 16 years, and boy, did it not age well, but we had fun making jokes at the movie’s expense and laughing at the uncomfortable innuendoes laced throughout the children’s movie.

You want your movie to be one thing — memorable. It doesn’t matter if it’s good or bad, because if your audience remembers it, then odds are high more people will see it.

“Jupiter Ascending” is insane and awful, and as the YouTube show “Honest Trailers” points out, maybe a reason for the academy to take back Eddie Redmayne’s Oscar, but I will remember that movie much longer than “The Smurfs” movie.

“The Smurfs” is cookie-cutter boring and about as by the books as a children’s movie can get. All I can remember about the plot is that Neil Patrick Harris was there for some reason.

Based on the new “Sonic the Hedgehog” trailer, I can guess about 85% of how that movie is going to go. I know for a fact that it’s going to be boring, minus Jim Carey going back to his zany 90s roots. It won’t be bad, but it won’t be the horror show that could have stuck in our minds like the smell of a rotten egg.