I felt my voice needed to be heard.

I wanted to comment on all the negative talk about Fifty Shades of Grey. The first thing I want to say is that I love all three books and that I hope the author, E.L. James, writes more books, especially Christian Grey’s side of the story. I also liked the movie and hope the other movies get made.

The story deals with bondage, discipline and sadism with explicit sex scenes, but it also deals with a man who faced horrific child abuse and was able to change his life for the woman he loved. Anastasia Steele saved his soul.

Reading these books you, cannot get preoccupied with all the sexual aspects. You have to pay attention to the other things Christian does and says when Anastasia comes into his life.

Anastasia is a shy, 21-year-old college student who is a virgin. She is a virgin because she had not met a guy she wanted to have a sexual relationship with. She wanted to feel a spark, feel a connection, and when she meets Christian she feels that spark.

Christian tried to worn her away several times, but even he could not ignore that he had feelings for her.

Before he even started a relationship with her, he was open and upfront about what he was into. He always told her that she could walk away any time she wanted to. When he found out that she did not have any experience (a virgin), he took things slow for her. He took her on dates, introduced her to his parents, and he was very protective of her.

The movie does not go into as much detail of the different lives that Christian and Anastasia have, the other characters, nor the softer side of Christian. Also in the book, you get Anastasia’s thoughts and feelings about her relationship with Christian. The books go into great detail on Anastasias feelings.

There are a lot of good things that Christian does in the book that unfortunately readers miss because they get preoccupied with the sex acts. Christian may tie her up and do kinky sexual things to her, but Anastasia does enjoy it.

It is not till the end of the first book that Christian still says he wants to do more of the hard-core stuff to her, and it is Anastasia that tells him to do it. She wants to know how extreme it can be.

After Christian spanks her with a belt, Anastasia tells him she cannot handle that aspect of his life. She admits that she loves him but she cannot be the person he wants her to be. She walks out on him and he lets her go.

It is at this point that Christian realizes how much Anastasia meant to him. That if he wants her back in his life he will have to change.

In the second book when they get back together, Anastasia moves into his apartment. They share the same bed instead of her sleeping in the other room. Christian admits he enjoys having her sleep with him. He tells her more of his past and he lets her touch him. The big issue with Christian tying her up so she cannot touch him is because of his traumatic abuse.

Christian is also more hesitant about going back into the Red Room of Pain, because he does not want her to leave him. It is Anastasia that tells him she enjoys some of the kinky stuff he does in that room, just not the hard-core stuff. When they do go back into the room, Anastasia notices that all the harder punishment items are no longer in the room. Christian admits that he got rid of them.

Unfortunately, Christian still does not understand why Anastasia is so upset with the sexual abuse from Elena Lincoln (Mrs. Robinson). In Christian’s mind, Elena helped him.

He was a young, 15-year-old boy going through puberty. He could not stand to be touched because of the trauma from living with his birth mother. He was drinking, fighting and he felt ashamed because he lived with a family he thought was perfect and he thought he was too scared and not worthy of being loved.

Then, Elena came into his life and got him away from drinking, drugs and fighting. Because she made him focus on school he thought that she helped him.

He confesses to Anastasia that he loves her and wants to marry her. Anastasia is hesitant because she does not know if she will be enough for him, if he will one day need to be able to go back to doing the hard-core punishment stuff.

Christian takes her to his therapist to talk. The therapist, Dr. Flynn, tells her that she is helping Christian. Anastasia admits she is worried about his sexual needs. The therapist talks about them both being consenting adults and that if they both enjoy exploring their sexuality with each other, then they will be O.K. Anastasia mentions that she cannot meet his more sadist side.

The therapist tells her because Christian loves her and knows that she does not want to be hurt then he is able to change and not hurt her, that when she walked out on Christian after he got too physical with her, it made a lasting impact on him.

It is not until the third book when they are married and Anastasia gets pregnant that Christian realizes that what Elena (Mrs. Robinson) did was wrong. Instead of actually helping him, she just channeled his rage and frustration into a different element and took advantage of him. He ends his friendship with Elena.

By the end of the third book Christian and Anastasia have a meaningful life. They have a house, two kids and they love each other very much. Christian has a deeper relationship with his parents, siblings and friends. They still go to his apartment in the city to use the Red Room on occasion, but Christian is more into vanilla sex with Anastasia, to waking up every morning holding her in bed every day.

I know that a lot of people have a problem with the sexual aspect in these books, but Christian and Anastasia were both consenting adults. Christian was also open and upfront with Anastasia.

Some people have commented that this book is about rape and domestic abuse. The definition of rape is “unlawful sexual intercourse or any other sexual penetration without the consent of the victim.”

The domestic abuse is a little trickier because he spanks her and says he wants to control her, but he is open about that fact in the relationship. He gives her information and tells her to do research on the bondage, sadism lifestyle. Throughout the books, the controlling, bondage, sadism life style that Christian thought he wanted changes.

Anastasia may have been an inexperienced virgin, but she was willing to explore her sexual side with Christian. She was strong enough to not let Christian compromise her into being something she was not able to be, a complete submissive. The bondage, sadism lifestyle became more about a loving couple that explores their sexual relationship.

Anastasia did not let Christian control her like he wanted to. Anastasia may have been shy and inexperienced, but she was also strong. Whenever Christian tried to control things she kept her integrity and strength and was able to get him to compromise on situations and listen to her.

When I read the “Fifty Shades” books, I was not focused on the bondage, discipline and kinky sex aspect. My focus was on the relationship that developed between Christian and Anastasia and the story about the characters.

Growing up, I had always been able to read a book and see a movie without getting preoccupied on the language and raunchy material. I have always focused more on the story that develops. I mentioned earlier that I liked the movie, but that I was disappointed because they cut out some material that I thought was important. Christian sleeping with Anastasia in the bed, holding her hand and a lot of other little things.  

Anastasia had feelings for Christian, so she was willing to talk and explore her sexuality. She fell in love with him. It took Christian longer to realize, but he fell in love with Anastasia, as well. Their relationship may have been unconventional and extreme, but they had a connection.

— Cheryl Shaw, WSU sociology student