The problem is bigger than Elliot Rodger.

Seven people were killed and 13 injured May 23, near the University of California-Santa Barbara campus. One of the deaths was the killer, allegedly Elliot Rodger. The killings were brutal. Three of Rodger’s roommates were stabbed to death. Others were shot.

Rodger had a problem. Most men in today’s society have this problem — though it may not be as extreme. Rodger’s megalomaniac personality is something that should resonate with all of us — his failure to view women as equals to men and not as sexual objects called upon to fulfill our desires.

Rodger tried to rationalize his way of thinking, and perhaps elicit some sympathy by saying things like, “…all because the females of the human species were incapable of seeing the value in me,” and, “all I ever wanted was to love women, and in turn to be loved by them back. Their behavior toward me has only earned my hatred, and rightfully so. I am the true victim in all of this. I am the good guy.”

I don’t feel bad for Rodger. You shouldn’t either.

The thing that Rodger — and many other men — fails to realize is that women are not obliged to submit to our sexual desires. Women, just like men, have the right and free will to choose who to have sexual relations with. Just because you are attracted to them doesn’t mean you can have them. You may feel that you are everything that woman needs, so how can she reject you? You have money, nice cars and good looks (in the eyes of you and your mother’s), but neither of that will ensure the woman of interest will share the same. Rodgers couldn’t fathom this logic.

Page 136 of Rodger’s manifesto: “The ultimate evil behind sexuality is the human female. They are the main instigators of sex. They control which men get it and which men don’t. Women are flawed creatures, and my mistreatment at their hands has made me realize this sad truth. There is something very twisted and wrong with the way their brains are wired. They think like beasts, and in truth, they are beasts. Women are incapable of having morals or thinking rationally. They are completely controlled by their depraved emotions and vile sexual impulses. Because of this, the men who do get to experience the pleasures of sex and the privilege of breeding are the men who women are sexually attracted to… the stupid, degenerate, obnoxious men.

I’m afraid there are a lot of Elliot Rodger in this world — some may even be on the WSU campus. We need to get those who cannot deal with rejection some help. I am concerned that there are a lot of people out there that share the same ideals as Rodgers: “If I cannot have it, I will do everything I can to DESTROY IT.”

Instead of concentrating on what you cannot have, men should seek and acknowledge the things and people they do have. The primary issue with most men who suffer from insecurities and masculinity issues is they like to play the ideal role: massive muscles, wealth and an abundance of women. That is the standard society has placed on men. Every man in this world is born different, which means we will all attract various kinds of women — a woman that attracts one guy may not attract the next. That’s the mundane realities of life.

You get rejected, you move on.

It is not only men who need change and awareness. Women who seek stability and security must first find it within themselves first, same with men.

Had Rodger been more secure and stable within, he would have been able to handle the countless rejects and evaluated his standards. He may have felt he deserved the best looking women, but that’s not always the case. I cannot go into a car dealership and demand the most expensive car because I feel I am worth it. Reality is reality.

Humans are not shiny objects up for display. There is so much more to a person than their looks, and by now, if you haven’t already found out, relationships that are primarily based upon psychical attraction are almost always temporary. You need more depth — something tangible.

In Rodger’s manifesto, he did not mention one time that he tried to get to know a woman. He never provided clear examples of moments when he tried to find how to appropriately approach a woman. He was all about the sex, and he couldn’t get any.

As men we must never try to subjugate women. We do not own them. They have every right to reject us, as do we have the same right.

We must understand that we are all in this as one. No one gender is greater than the other. Men cannot live without women and women cannot live without men.