Slumber parties are not what they used to be

Columnist

Once upon a time, you could go to someone’s house for parties to purchase Tupperware or Mary Kay makeup. But that’s in the past. These old-school parties are fading out, and being replaced with something new: slumber parties.

Maybe you’re one of the naïve who is thinking “slumber party? Like, when people spend the night at someone’s house and stay up late eating junk food?” Wrong. A slumber party is much like a Tupperware party, where women meet at someone’s house, eat appetizers, sip cute drinks and pass around merchandise that you end up ordering even if you don’t need it. Only this time the merchandise is not plastic storage containers—it is an assortment of sex toys and the like.

Sure, the party is a little different, where instead of openly ordering your items of choice; a representative takes you to a separate room for you to place your order. I suppose this separation from the group is meant to eliminate embarrassment, but I mean, you’re already at a slumber party, what does the rest of the group think you’re purchasing anyway?

My first invite—and every invitation I’ve received since—came from an older lady that I know pretty well. She seems to like throwing the slumber parties, and while doing so, she seems to like embarrassing me in front of other people when she invites me.

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think anything is wrong with the slumber party, and if you ask me it sounds a lot more exciting than a Tupperware party. It’s just that when a group of older people get together for a slumber party, I start to feel a little, well, awkward.

This is where the inner conflict stems with my own outlook on the slumber party concept. Maybe if a person under the age of 40 invited me, I would think about attending. If my older friends are so adamant about it, then maybe there is something I’m missing. Maybe slumber parties are what I have to look forward to when I get old and, that forbidden thought, married.