My experience with elections in college

Columnist

I am not much of a “joiner.” During high school, I left all the clubs, teams and organizations to their own devices while I focused on more open-ended goals like “girls” and “beer.”

I resolved to be more social after coming to college. The organizations concerned with the deep issues like world peace and sexual equality seemed to attract high-speed, motivated people. To be honest, those people usually tire me out pretty quickly. So, I tried to find a group that was a little more low-key.

I ended up joining an organization dedicated to getting Ross Perot elected president of the United States.

Our first act was to attend meetings of the campus Republican and Democrat groups. We were big on this. It was like espionage. We’d sit in on their strategy sessions, and use that knowledge to crush them and catapult Perot to victory.

Both the Democrats and the Republicans were organized and motivated. The Democrats were arranging an appearance by their candidate, Bill Clinton. I wasn’t entirely sure our candidate knew we existed.

The Republicans were being driven by a young woman who was going to single-handedly deliver our state to George Bush. Like a general, she had a map of the campus divided into color-coded sections, and was assigning operatives various tasks in the “blue zone” or the “red zone.” There were zones on the map I’d never been to.

We had clearly bitten off a lot more than we could chew. It would take some hard work, but we were sure we could overcome.

We went back to our headquarters – a couple of benches outside the library – and planned our next move.

“Steve, you head into the blue zone and secure us a case of beer. Rachel? Go back to the green zone and see if there are any other girls who’d like to party. Tom, can you arrange an appearance by your roommate? Tell him to bring his guitar.”

We never did get back around to getting Perot elected. Ross, if you’re reading this, I’m sorry you lost.