Wichita State’s porcelain thrones: The top spots to poop on campus

Gotta poop? We’ve got you covered.

Everybody poops. But where they go on campus is a different story.

When you’re on campus and the morning fiber cereal has worked its way through your system, the nearest bathroom isn’t always the most comforting. Given the choice, where’s the best place to go number two at Wichita State?

In the last few weeks, I journeyed around the main campus in search of bathrooms that mirrored the same at-home comfort. Bathrooms were judged on cleanliness, smell, privacy, convenience and toilet paper supply.

These locations made the cut:

Honorable Mention: Heskett Center, Second Floor

Nothing about the Heskett Center’s first floor bathrooms in the locker rooms warrant placement on this list. The poor air circulation in there makes it hell for anyone seeking a quick, get-in get-out operation. But if you must go in the middle of your recreational activities, you’re not going to want to drift too far. Try out the bathrooms on the second floor of the Heskett, just past the basketball courts. Unlike the others on this list, they aren’t newly renovated, but they have other positive qualities making it a runner-up. Behind a pair of double doors, this bathroom is often vacant and generates little traffic, giving you your best shot at privacy in one of Wichita State’s highest trafficked buildings. In a convenient space, this will allow you to get the job done and get back to fitness in a flash.

4. Ablah Library, First Floor

The rule of thumb is the higher up you go, you’re usually guaranteed a good smelling, clean and private bathroom. In Ablah Library, however, the bathrooms on the first floor are just that good. Get there early in the morning, and you’ll find an empty and fresh smelling bathroom. Stop by late in the afternoon and that guarantee drops as mid-morning traffic picks up. In the summer, renovations to the second and third floor bathrooms were completed, bringing them up-to-date with the 21st Century. They’re equipped with tile walls, state-of-the-art hand driers, new granite countertops and a place to set your books — each a nice touch.

3. Rhatigan Student Center, Basement

Conveniently located in the entertainment hub of campus, the basement of the Rhatigan Student Center, equipped with bowling, billiards and TVs, has plenty of reasons to draw a lot of foot traffic. But the best secret is the family bathroom back on the left. Not every building on campus is equipped with personal family restrooms, but for convenience, this is top of the line. Guaranteed to be always clean and stocked with plenty of materials to complete the work. Best of all, you’re guaranteed a locking door for an extra boost of privacy.

2. Rhatigan Student Center, Third Floor

Let’s get back to basics. The base principle in a search for the best bathroom will be to search for an area that doesn’t see much foot traffic. Not everyday is the Shirley Beggs Ballroom occupied with an event, leaving this line of stalls as one of the least trafficked restrooms on campus. Take the elevator to the top of the RSC for this hidden gem. This bathroom is always supremely clean and ensured privacy. If there’s a scheduled event, take the elevator down to the second floor and head to the north end of the building. The bathrooms tucked back near the offices are your next best option.

1. Experiential Engineering Building, Second Floor

The Experiential Engineering Building is brand new to Wichita State this semester. Everything in the building speaks attention to detail — and this detail extends well into the bathrooms. There’s probably going to be some time before the three-story building starts to take on serious traffic, leaving it, for the meantime, as a gold mine for the No. 1 place for number two. Follow the main staircase, located directly inside the building’s main entrance, and take an immediate right. There’s a study area there with about 20 tables. This bathroom on the west wing is equipped with the greatest number of stalls in the building. If you can stand the appeasing new building smell that fills this bathroom, then you’re guaranteed to love this safe haven. Consider this Wichita State’s golden throne.

Happy pooping.